Hey honey! I was wondering where you went… I’m just here cleaning up the mess from your birthday party. Today has been such a busy busy day getting the food cooked and your birthday cake made, I’ve barely had any time with my special birthday girl! Why don’t you come sit down with mommy so I can spend a little time with you before you go back outside with your friends? Oh honey, I SO need a smoke break right now… I haven’t been able to smoke all day! I want to talk to you about something, dear…. see, I saw your friends out back behind the shed smoking today. I was pretty surprised, I wasn’t aware that any of your friends smoked. Did you know that they were smoking? No? Are you sure?

Well, ok… I was just really shocked is all. No no, I’m not mad at all! So honey… have you ever tried smoking? Not even once? No? Well, have you ever thought about smoking? Come on baby, you can tell me anything! You are growing up into such a beautiful smart young woman and I want us to have a totally open and honest relationship… don’t ever be afraid to tell me anything! Mommy will always be here to help you with anything you need. So tell me sweetie… have you… thought about smoking? It’s only natural that you would being that your mother is a life long smoker.

Oh my beautiful daughter… I have another question to ask you. I’ve been waiting to ask you this until the right time came and I believe that today is the day. I want to ask you…..if….well, do you want mommy to teach you how to smoke? You do?! Oh honey!! You’ve made me SO happy… I was so afraid that you wouldn’t want to learn but you’ve made me the proudest mother ever! I’ve been wanting to teach my daughter how to smoke for years now… and you are finally ready!

Here, take one of my cigarettes. Just hold it between your fingers and get a feel for it. You need to figure out your smoking style. This is something that comes with experience but I want you to do it however it feels natural… after all, smoking is a natural thing. Ok baby, are you ready for your first ever inhale? Let me light it for you…. ok, now take a light inhale… not too much at first because it’s going to make you cough. So, how does it feel?? How does it feel to smoke your very first cigarette… with your mommy? It is incredible, isn’t it? Being a smoker gives a woman so much sex appeal. Let’s take another drag, my sweet daughter. I want you to mimic me exactly while I am smoking. I am going to teach you to be the sexiest smoker ever!

All of the boys are going to find you irresistable now! Your friends are going to be so jealous of your new smoking habit and they are going to want to learn too. I want you to feel free to invite any of your friends back to the house if they’d like to learn how to smoke. I want to make myself available to any young lady who would like to learn the proper way to smoke. I want to get the word out on the grapevine, I’m here to teach all of the young ladies how to be a proper smoker! The best way to become a sexy smoker is learning from a pro… like your sexy mother!